Kris Responds:
As a career, lawyers and other professionals with an established clientele have been able to incorporate these skills more readily to what they already do. Having said that, I would respond with a question, "how do you define career"...because many people from so many walks of life have found ways to call themselves a mediator within the context of their chosen fields. For instance, many state agencies now have mediators on staff to help resolve human resource complaints, vendor/contract disputes and consumer dissatisfaction related issues. In that sense, a good case can be made for the use of a "mediator" title and credential as being appropriate for many. However, in the more restrictive sense of hanging a shingle out and having the public seek your services, you are right to assume that the majority of referrals would be coming from the legal community and, unless a specific marketing niche (such as adoption disputes, e.g.) has been identified with your name; it would be not be likely that a ready stream of referrals are out there waiting to call. I would say it is difficult to earn a living as a mediator, even if you are a lawyer, psychologist or other solo practitioner in a different field. The reason is that the public does not yet embrace the need for a mediator; much like it was resistant to the idea of a counselor 40 yrs. ago. I expect this to change as the world grows tired of the more adversarial means to resolve disputes--including the disenchantment with law suits.
Thinking more broadly, one can earn a living with related functions such as training services, group facilitation endeavors, strategic planning and other "consensus" building activities that many employers are interested in funding. Mediation skills and "conflict theory" are integral to these skills and, the DRC's training is a great place to jumpstart in this direction.
Also, it would be advisable to join professional mediation organizations representing the interests of professional mediators and learn how to market your skills. Developing a specialty niche while staying diverse in a number of activities would be advisable. If your background is the teaching field, then you might want to market higher education representatives, especially where funding and legislative decisions are prevalent. Examples such as special education services or faculty/student disputes come to mind. Some questions to answer might be…1) In the organizations you are most familiar with, where are the lawsuits targeted? 2) Who are the critical contacts to help divert those complaints to a different route of resolution. Then be able to define your role in helping to make that happen.
Regardless of what title you choose for yourself, the Basic 40 Hour Mediation Training as a life skills course is invaluable in conducting the routine aspects of anyone's life. For this reason alone, the course is popular and continues to enjoy waiting list status. Best of luck in your own journey regarding this direction, and I do hope we see you in a future class.
Kris
Date: 06/20/2007
Posted by: Kris Donley
A surfer writes:
What can happen if one party in the divorce has an attorney,and the other does not and they are coming their to get thing worked out for the two year old child?And what can happen if nothing gets worked out before they go to court?
Kris Responds:
Well, what can happen is one party can feel a possible disadvantage if there are two people on one side of the table (one with legal expertise) keeping the table from feeling balanced or fair. What also can happen is two people work out an agreement with or without attorneys at the table. Our preference is that either you both have them; or neither have them at the mediation. We also prefer, if there are children or property involved, that the agreement be looked over by a family attorney if possible. If nothing gets worked out at the mediation, then the judge will order an "agreement" for you based on his/her judgement and knowledge of the Texas Family Code. This agreement may or may not best reflect your own individual interests in regard to your child, however, it will be binding until some modification is filed by a representative of either you or the ex.
I hope that you and your ex are able to come to some sort of understanding before that is necessary for the sake of your own best interests as well as those of your child.
Sincerely,
Kris
Date: 06/8/2007
Posted by: Kris Donley
A surfer asks:
Hi Kris. If two people who are divorcing disagree with splitting their assets how can a mediator help? Thanks.
Kris Responds:
Well, believe it or not...they can...even strong willed people who are sure that they won't or can't budge. Most people don't care nearly as much about assets as they do about what the assets represent. The armoir may matter because it is an heirloom...or a car may matter because it is the only means to independence, work...etc. There are also many assumptions made about each other that can add to an on-going desire to stay 'dug in' to a particular position. Divorce is painful and we may be coming from a survival motive because it feels that we are 'losing' or will 'lose more' if we don't appear strong and unbending. People cling to their positions for a variety of reasons ---some as basic as survival security, or psychological/emotional attachment and finally, even out of principle....a mediator is skilled in helping each party reflect their own underlying as well as understanding more of the other party's true interests. Oftentimes, these stated positions appear incompatible but the underlying interests are not so incompatible. Then, there is something a little magical about sitting down at a table with the help of a neutral that declares a good faith effort to try and work it out. This higher order of problem solving appeals to many who subscribe to a civilized way of managing conflict and people more often than not--rise to the occasion. Everybody gives a little, and everybody gains more than if they hand it off to an arbitrating force such as a judge.
I hope this provides some answers to your very worthwhile question. Please feel free to give Scott Rich a call at the center at 371- 0033 on Monday for a more in-depth description of what mediation can do.
Date: 04/10/2007
Posted by: Kris Donley
A surfer asks:
I am relocating back to Texas, in particular Austin, and am seeking a career path in mediation. Your suggestions in this regard would be greatly appreciated. I have a background of having been on a large board of REALTORS as the chair of committees involving dispute resolution and feel your training would be excellent as a step towards a mediation career. Thank you for any information you can share. Enjoy your day!
Kris Responds:
Welcome back to Texas! A lot of realtors take our Mediator Training Course since mediation is so prominent in both real estate contract law and the reliance on negotiation in the field is so prevalent. I highly recommend the course for anyone brokering between the public and any service or goods. As a career move, it will be imperative to establish marketing contacts with those entities most likely to encounter conflict referrals in your chosen field. Without the specialty niche (e.g. historical home specialist), the average citizen will talk to a lawyer who will refer to an attorney mediator without necessarily thinking of another specialty. Very few mediations are first person referred. That is, very few people have a conflict and then go to the hone book and call a mediator. Most of the cases come from an agency, case management system, the legal community or finally a court. There are some successful non-attorney mediators because of their reputation and liason with other referral sources. Talking with them might be a good idea.
However, being a mediator adds to your resume an element considered desireous by any future employer and the life skills gained are invaluable. I hope to see you in one of our courses.
Date: 03/29/2007
Posted by: Kris Donley
Questions from a reader:
Q: Hi, Kris. I have a basic question regarding visitation. My Exhusband and I have a "standard" extended visitation schedule. I am the primary (custodial) parent. He gets our child every first, third, and fifth weekend...and 30 days during the summer with all the standard holiday stuff, etc. Because it is relevant to the end of this story, I should tell you that my Ex lives with his mother....so she gets to see our daughter quite often during the year...as much as my Ex does. Well, this year, right before my Ex's 30 days of possession this summer, he and his girlfriend are going out of the country on a cruise (June 24 – July 2). He didn't realize it encompassed his "fifth" weekend (June 29 – July 1) when he scheduled the cruise. Now, because he can't "exercise his parental rights of visitation" that weekend, he wants me to trade him a weekend...but father's day weekend is off the table and that leaves very few weekends at my option...and this is RIGHT before I'm going to be separated from my daughter for 30 days anyway. I'm not inclined to "trade" one of my weekends. Because I won't "trade," he said, even though he isn't even going to be in this country at the time, that he would send his mother (who has no court assigned visitation rights) to come and get her for the weekend. I feel that he's "informed me that he's unable to exercise his parental rights that weekend" and that, although he may designate a competent adult to drop the child off or pick her up for "transportation purposes" only, I don't believe he can ASSIGN his parental rights of visitation to someone else. Can he? Can I refuse to give my child to someone else when he's unable to exercise his visitation?
I know the courts want both parents to be involved in the child's life and in raising her. However, if she can't be with her dad...because he's on a cruise with his girlfriend...I believe the next best person for her to be with is her mother.
Can I refuse to turn her over to his mother that weekend while he's gone?
Thanks so much for your advise.
Williamson County Mother
Kris responds:
A: Well, you are asking me a legal question and I cannot comment on that without getting into trouble because I am not a lawyer. But I would suggest that you and the Ex are the best people to figure out what to do here and this is an opportunity to practice responding to this problem as well as future dilemmas without undue expense or a court battle. Here are some questions I would ask you both to consider in making this decision.
1. How old is your daughter?
2. Is your daughter old enough to have an opinion and, if so, what would she like to do?
3. While there are primary "positions" being stated by you and her father as to what you each want, I would ask you what interests (yours, your Ex's and your daughter's) are being served by the positions taken by each of you? --in other words, what is being accomplished by holding on to your opposed positions...
4. Six months from now, or a year or two down the road, what significance will a decision either way have on you both as a co-parenting in terms of taking care of your daughter?.
5. Lastly, what model do you want to exemplify for your daughter when she is faced with a tough decision such as this one---what values, beliefs or otherwise standards of conduct would you want her to learn by watching her parents practice this and future decision making?
These are the kinds of questions a mediator would explore with the two of you in a private setting without your daughter or the grandmother present in hopes that the two of you would be able to set aside any personal agendas from history or current relationship challenges and begin practicing a focused effort on how to "team parent".
Legal issues aside, I can tell you that the most successful post divorce parenting teams with the best adjusted children are those that are willing to let go of each of their hard and held-fast positions in order to examine what will accomplish the goal --that of giving your daughter the security of knowing her parents love her, want the best for her and can work together to figure out what to do in a given situation posing a challenge. Staying peaceful and mutually supportive of one another in your daughter's eyes will be the best parenting gift you both can give her. A mediator can help you figure out how to do this.
Let us know if we can help you with a mediation for you and your Ex. This is a great example of a case for mediation at the Center.
Best Regards,
Kris
Date: 03/27/2007
Posted by: Kris Donley
Questions from a reader:
Q: How many mediators do you have available for post-divorce mediation dealing with possession?
A: We have about 110 mediators on our roster; about half are qualified to mediate this type of case!
Q: How soon can one get a session setup?
A: A mediation can be arranged within 7 to 10 days of the request call to the Center.
Q: What is the cost?
A: If you live in Travis County; it will cost $35.00 per party for a Community Based Mediation.
Q: Do the parties usually split the cost?
A: Except in unusual situations, each party bears the cost of their participation (a "party" is an individual or group who represents a particular side to the issue---therefore a "party" may consist of a a couple for instance.
Q: Is the final agreement binding and enforceable even if it is different than the final divorce decree?
A: Travis County Judges tend to incorporate mediated agreements as modification to a decree but this is a legal step that occurs post mediation.
Q: Is legal representation required?
A: Not for the mediation; individuals and groups often come to their own agreements then take it to their attorneys for a "third legal eye review" . The attorney can take your agreement and file for modification in one of the Family District Courts if you require this legal teeth. Individuals use this process when they feel they might need some recourse in the future if the other party does not comply with the agreement.
Date: 03/26/2007
Posted by: Kris Donley
Good Afternoon, I’m wondering what the location is for the Basic Mediation classes. I’m very interested!
Kris responds:
Our 40 Hr classes are held at The Dispute Resolution Center located at 5407 North IH35, Ste410, Austin, Texas. This is the Capital Plaza Shopping Center in the Chase Bank Building (4th floor) which is located on the east frontage road of IH 35 between 51st and 290East. Join us soon!
Date: 03/20/2007
Posted by: Kris Donley
Hi Kris~
I am interested in taking this course. I was wondering, upon completion of the course, does the student receive a certificate?:
Kris responds:
Hello Tammie, Yes you will receive a certificate of completion stating the number of hours that you participated. If you do not complete the full 40 hours, you will receive a certificate stating the number of hours documented during your training. I hope to see you in one of our classes!
Date: 10/20/2006
Posted by: Kris Donley
From a police officer:
I am a police officer in Texas and I want to get a part-time job in mediation.. How do I go about that? I want to get into the line of mediation that pays...can ya help me? thanks!.
Kris responds:
We love to hear from law enforcement officers who see the benefit of mediation in community problem solving.
Your question is a hard one and I get questions like this from many fields. The short answer is, "it is very, very difficult" to make a living as a mediator. However, police departments are rising to the challenge of public accountability particularly when citizens have registered complaints. The Austin Police Department now has a program whereby citizen complaints are investigated for appropriateness for mediation and, if so, then a referral to the Dispute Resolution Center occurs. My advice is to look within your own police department or those that offer such a service. Better yet, propose to develop such a program. Those departments that are using mediation within their Internal Affairs Departments are reporting success. Give Larry Oliver a call at APD 512-974-5701 if you would like to investigate their program further. He might know of where in the Dallas/Ft. Worth metroplex, similar programs are launching.
The most important thing you are doing is putting the "peace" back into the term "peacekeeper" for your valuable role in the community.
Date: 07/13/2006
Posted by: Kris Donley
From a Single Mom:
My ex and I have been divorced 10 yrs. He is now remarrying and our son, who is 15 will be living with me full time. We need to determine child support amount to be paid and get legal papers submitted. Could you tell me how child support is figured? Is it a percentage of salary? Do we need to figure out monthly costs involved? Please let me know how I can proceed in a quick and inexpensive way. Thank you.
Kris responds:
The quickest way to proceed is to consult a Family Lawyer who can advise you in this matter. The Austin Bar Lawyer Referral Service (www.austinlrs.com) 512 472-8303 can recommend a good one.
In response to your questions regarding how child support is determined, there is a section of the The Family Code, Chapter 154; Child Support Subchapter A that explains how the court will establish the amount of child support to be paid. This represents the minimum required and parents often make adjustments beyond the basic child care support in the best interest of the child.
While the state will mandate the child support dollar amounts, many post divorce, co-parenting teams use mediation as a way to facilitate the details of how child support is to be used and the most effective way to parent a child after divorce and/or remarriage. A family mediator can assist you and your ex-husband in this endeavor. For independent research, please consider the following link to the laws affecting the area of child support.
http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/statutes/docs/FA/content/htm/fa.005.00.000154.00.htm
Date: 04/17/2006
Posted by: Kris Donley
from a reader:
I have a question, is a adr required for all custody orders when though one parent has sole custody?
Kris responds:
(in accordance with Susan Cefai, JD, Family Mediator, the following is offered in response to your question).
As of September 1, 2005, all final orders in suits affecting the parent-child relationship must incorporate a "final parenting plan" (Tx. Family Code, Section 153.603). One of the requirements of the plan is that it include a provision for "a dispute resolution process or other voluntary dispute resolution procedures" before either parent can go back to court. There is no exception for cases where a sole custody arrangement is in place, the only exceptions are for cases where family violence was present, or it is shown that the dispute resolution procedure would not be in the best interest of the child (Tx. Family Code, Section 153.0071)
from a mediator in the past:
I took the mediation course about 10 years ago, are there continuing education requirements to maintain certification?
Kris Responds:
The certificate of completion for your coursework in mediation is still valid and there is no "expiration date" on it. To voluntarily seek credentialing in Texas as a mediator, there are requirements including continuing education. These requirements are dependent upon the level of credentialing sought. You can research this independently at: www.txmca.org which stands for The Texas Mediator Credentialing Association.
Date: 02/22/2006
Posted by: Kris Donley
A reader writes:
Hello. I have a situation that resulted when I sold my home in Houston in October 2005 (I currently live in Austin). I am trying to find a way other than small claims court to resolve my problem. Do you mediate situations like this? And would I need to contact someone in Houston because that is where the dispute took place?
To give you the short version; at closing of our home we paid taxes based on 2004 year because 2005 was not available. Which meant when the taxes did come out we saw that we had paid about $650 over actual taxes. The buyers are refusing to reimburse us the money. Any information would be appreciated.
Kris responds:
This is a good example of a "mediatable" dispute. It doesn't really matter which county (Harris or Travis) but it might make sense to mediate the case at the Dispute Resolution Center there in Houston, since the other parties would be more likely to come to your requested mediation table if it was convenient for them. You can reach that center located at:
The Dispute Resolution
Center 49 San Jacinto, Ste 220
Houston, Texas 77002-1223
(713)755-8274 FAX: (713)755-8885 Phone: (888)292-1502
www.drchouston.org
Date: 02/09/2006
Posted by: Kris Donley
A reader writes:
Does advanced family mediation course have CLE credit? If so, how many hours?
Kris's response:
Susan Cefais, JD, Private Mediator and Trainer, provides the Family Mediation Course for the DRC twice per year. In response to your question:
The Family Course will yield 27 hours and 3 hrs of ethics. I hope to see you in one of our courses.
Date: 02/07/2006
Posted by: Kris Donley
A reader writes:
How does one go about becoming certified as a 40 Hour Basic Mediation Course Instructor in Texas?
Kris responds:
The DRC just celebrated its 100th 40 Hour Basic Mediation Course with its trainers from the Corder, Thompson & Associates, Inc. I have forwarded your question to its president, Mary Thompson who responded:
There is currently no credentialing process for mediation trainers in Texas. There are, however, standards for mediation training programs that were developed through the Texas Mediator Trainers Roundtable. The standards can be found at www.tmtr.org. Although these are voluntary standards, The Texas Mediator Credentialing Association requires that, as a condition of being credentialed, mediators must complete a basic mediation training course that meets the TMTR standards. In addition, the Association for Conflict Resolution approves family and divorce mediation training programs. Their standards can be found at www.acrnet.org/referrals/tr-guidelines.htm.
Date: 11/29/2005
Posted by: Kris Donley
A reader writes:
My soon to be ex-husband and I have three children. I am hearing about some sort of "parenting plan" that we'll have to come up with. What is this? Can we mediate this? What will be the charge to us? Thank you for your help.
Kris responds:
This is a new term for recently passed legislation in Texas and other states amending the family code and can be researched more independently at the below link:
Click Here (http://texasfamilylaw.blogspot.com/2005_09_01_texasfamilylaw_archive.html)
In answer to your other questions:...yes, it is most advisable that you mediate a parenting plan. Only in a mediation can you and your husband direct your own best efforts in determining what will be in the best interest of your children based on your values, resources and logistics. You can use private mediators listed in the phone book or one of the volunteer family mediators at The Dispute Resolution Center. There are 17 centers throughout Texas and a list can be found on this website: www.austindrc.org You didn't say where you live, but you can contact our center for help in locating community mediation services throughout the nation and the costs for the service. A typical community mediation for Travis County citizens is $35.00 per person or $70 for a couple. Our number is 512-371-0033x222.
Date: 11/08/2005
Posted by: Kris Donley
A surfer asks:
I wanted to know if your training program was accredited?
Kris responds:
Since we are blessed at the DRC to have Mary Thompson and Judy Corder of Corder, Thompson & Associates provide the training course you specified in your email, I asked that the company's president, Mary Thompson respond to your question:
Mary writes:
There really is no formal accreditation process for mediation training in Texas. The Texas Mediation Trainers Roundtable has developed voluntary standards for mediation training in Texas, including standards for the basic mediation training. These can be found at www.tmtr.org.
The Texas Mediation Credentialing Association has issued standards for those wishing to be credentialed by them. These standards include having completed a basic mediation training program that meets the standards developed by the Texas Mediation Trainers Roundtable. For more information see www.txmca.org. In the credentialing process, the applicant attests to the fact that the training they attended meets the Roundtable standards. The TMCA really does not review, endorse or accredit any specific training program.
Additional information regarding the Corder, Thompson & Associates services can be researched at www.corderthompson.com.
Date: 10/27/2005
Posted by: Kris Donley
Another writer:
I have a consumer/business issue and am interested in the mediation process. I have refused total payment because of damages I have suffered and the business has put a lien on my condo. Am I eligible for remediation thru your services? Thank you.
Kris Donley:
By "remediation", I believe you are asking, can I be absolved from any payment due because of dissatisfaction. The terms can be confusing. Of course, a business transaction resulting in fees for a service or product can result in a less than satisfactory outcome to either party. Consumers may complain of unmet expectations or mal-treatment and providers may complain of failure to make good on a promise to pay. How the provider and consumer view the situation, their general business practices and whether both individuals have a sense of fairness and/or desire to operate from some principle based philosophy will be critical to the integrity of any business negotiation. Avoidance of disruption of service, additional fees or cost and preservation of one's reputation, sanity or bank account can and will often be present "on the table" as well. Mediation is an excellent way to see what options can be adopted to increase the satisfaction of both parties. Consumer related disputes make up about 20% of the DRC's mediation business. Other resources such as the Better Business Bureau and Consumer Protection agencies see an even larger number of these disputes. Call the center at 371-0033 and ask to speak to a case manager about your specific issue. For as little as $35.00, you can have access to a trained volunteer mediator team and a half-day mediation at the center. They will work hard to see if there is a way to work out your differences.
Kris
Date: 10/06/2005
Posted by: Kris Donley
From a surfer:
Good Morning, Per my divorce decree I have to try mediation before taking my ex back to court but I can't afford to bring an attorney with us. Is there any way of coming without one, or do you have any other suggestions? My ex will not communicate with me in any way shape or form. It concerns my 14 year old son's court ordered visitation. He is refusing to go because it is causing medical problems and loss of sleep, which in turn effects his school work. I feel like I am at a dead end now.
Thanks, anonymous
Kris Donley:
The short answer to your question is, "no, you don't have to bring your attorney to this mediation". Many times, individuals just want to sit down with a neutral third party and try to figure out what they want to in order to be the best co-parents after a divorce. Even when emotions are tense, parties appear split beyond redemption and/or no solution is visible, parents can still find ways to creatively address the issues that prevent them from parenting as well or cooperatively as they want to. However, whatever agreements might be reached between you and your ex will be an informal understanding unless a court issues an order to modify your current decree. In other words, if it's working informally between you and your ex, it may be fine (as long as the child is not being harmed in any way). But if it isn't working, there's no authority such as the judge who can mandate anything other than the existing decree. If this "legal teeth" is desired, your attorney's reviewof the agreement is a good idea before taking it before a judge.
Kris
Community Mediation
